Thursday, January 3, 2008

Happy New Year!

Ladies, it's your favorite quarterback, one time NFC player of the week, one time horse trailer player of the game, and now NFC player of the month, TC here. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and got those Tickle Me Collins' that have been flying off the shelves. I also hope you had a wonderful new year and made your resolutions to never doubt TC again.

I know I had a great 2007 filled with no interceptions, 106.4 QB ratings, lots of Cheesecake Factory, a star on the Hollywood walk of fame, and the success of the first annual TC's double-dutch championships for inner city DC children. 2008 promises to be even better already as I am actually playing which means that I should win the NFC player of the month 12 times.

Beating the Cowboys and qualifying for the playoffs probably ranks up somewhere in the 123-127 range of greatest moments of TC's life, and right up there with Jack Collins' birth this past month. Did you know that TC was the only NFL QB in the past four games who didn't throw an INT? I did. This victory cemented TC and TB as the top two quarterbacks in the NFL which is the way it should be. We have the top two ratings, two best groomers, best humor, longest tooth brushers, and greatest aura. There's no doubt that we'll be facing each other in the Superbowl and the Pro Bowl. Some of you guys might be saying..."Todd, the regular season is one one thing, but how can we trust a QB with such little playoff experience?" I will point you in the direction of the 1995 and 1996 NFL seasons when TC was a young lad with the Buffalo Bills. In 1995, I had the privlege of backing up Alex Van Pelt as he filled in for an injured Jim Kelly in a 40-21 Wild-Card loss to the Steelers. That experience prepared me for my playoff debut when yours truly filled in for the once again injured Jim Kelly for a series. In a magical 30-27 loss to the Jaguars, I went 1-4, 7 yards and 0 INTs. TC is a playoff veteran, and that experience will help us immensly on Saturday.

New Years Day was quite exciting as I have quit partying to watch game-tape to help strategize for both the Redskins and Michigan games. I flew down to Orlando with other famous Wolverines such as Braylon Edwards, Tom Brady, Amani Toomer, the ashes of Gerald Ford, James Earl Jones, Madonna, Dr. Kavorkian and the unabomber to be there for Coach Carr's last game and implement the spread attack which took down Florida. Although it was quite a victorious day, a bad omen was unleashed when Mike Hart fumbled twice after 1002 carries without a fumble. I started thinking about my interception streak, but quickly realized that Hart was mortal. I was very tempted to start partying in Orlando with my old teammates, but decided to keep it PG-13 with Mickey, Minnie, Goofy and Pluto.

That's all for now. I look forward to live blogging during the Seahawks game, but we all know that TC does not lose and that I shall grace the 2nd round with my presence. Normally I'd check off by saying that I've just finished off some mini burgers or nachos grande, but it's a new TC for a new year.

Todd Collins

#15

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

omg... hilarious! much love todd! we're all cheering for ya in DC!

Anonymous said...

haaaaa

Anonymous said...

that's not todd lol

Anonymous said...

you rule Toddster

Anonymous said...

Go TC! Wolverine fans in Seattle are cheering for you! Even Matt Hasselbeck, who was obviously inspired by you as a young lad, knows he is facing a tough challenge in the TC led Redskins!

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/seahawks/2004106756_collins04.html

Anonymous said...

Love the blog, keep up teh fine show, bruddah!

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