Sunday, December 30, 2007

Redskins Cowboys - Live Blog!

Post-Game Wrapup: TC would like to personally welcome all his fans to the playoffs! I'm 4-0 as your starter, and yes, tomorrow night the 10-year interception streak will ring in for another year. Coming off the bench and saving the team's season, many have likened me to greats such as Jeff Garcia, or as I like to call him "el saviour de philadelphia." After tonight's performance, I think they may even start comparing Tom Brady to me. I'm not one to make predictions, but don't be too shocked if the superbowl features a matchup of Michigan QBs. The master vs. the apprentice, that would be quite a story. On to Seattle!

6:49 PM: Another toss, another completion, and another TD for TC! 5 TDs and zero INTs for Massachusetts' finest. My passer rating is down from 107 to 106.4, but tonight's post-game party will more than make up for that. I think Santana has earned a designated seat next to Cooley in the tub. I'm looking forward to matching up against fellow New England QB Matt Hasselback as he hails from Norfolk, Mass. We've been rivals ever since I had an encounter with the Xaverian Brothers High School cheerleaders in the spring of '89.

6:38 PM: What would the NFL have been like if TC was actually starting the past 10 years? I'll let you folks marinate on that while I finish this drive.

6:23 PM: When the FOX Commentators mention "Todd Collins Magic," that's basically what it looks like in action. 20-3 Skins. I better go ahead a pre-order a hot tub in Seattle.

Halftime Update: They've been keeping me pretty busy out there on the field so there hasn't been much time for blogging. Santana has been dropping a lot of beautifully thrown balls, so I had to give him a little pep talk in the locker room. We'll come out firing and should be in the playoffs within the hour.

5:24 PM: I need to have a word with Buges about these protection schemes. I can't be getting hit when I'm trying to read the field and throw the ball. Go Broncos!

5:03 PM: 10-0, and the zebras are trying to give the game away, but even they can't stop Suisham's leg of destiny. So far so good. Romo has not been playing well since he started dating Jessica Simpson. Good, veteran QBs like Tom Brady and yours truly have shown the ability to juggle numerous supermodels and the rigors of football at the same time. Tony clearly needs some help in that department. I might have to take him under my wing after the season ends.

4:38 PM: D is playing too well. I don't even get a break today...

4:34 PM: Don't worry folks, TC does not throw INTs and that throw was just a ploy to get good field position with the penalty. 7-0 skins. Good run portis. And I'd like to thank Cooley for being the best receiver ever. If we could clone him 9 times and get them all out on the field with TC I don't think we'd ever lose. I'll need to talk to Dan about acquiring some scientists to get on that.

4:24 PM: Tough drive. I carried the team as far as I could but at some point the line needs to block and Caldwell needs to catch. I'm blogging from the sidelines on my new iPod Touch that Andrea gave me for Christmas and the raindrops are definitely messing with the screen. Time to look at some photos of the D...

4:14 PM: I hope you all saw TC's 107.0 passing rating this month. Apparently TO didn't even travel to DC - he no doubt fears the growing legend of TC. I better get ready, we've got the ball...

3:59 PM: The weather is getting nasty out here folks. I'd rather be on my couch in my georgetown estate taking a nap right now, but with my big free agency payday coming up in a few months this is a good opportunity to keep padding the stats. I just got off the phone with my bookie. I won't give any details but let's just say that the TC-led redskins have won every game by at least 8 points.

2:32 PM: Hey skinheads, it's your NBC Horse-Trailer Player of the Week here ready to lead the charge into the final game of the season. Anyway, I just got in to Fedex from Union Station. It was a late party night yesterday evening as I spent the evening clubbing in NYC with Tom, Wes, Randy, and Junior. 16-0 is truly an amazing feat, almost as amazing as not throwing an interception in 10 years... but not quite. Still, it's really good to see hard work pay off, and all those late-night hours I spent tutoring Tom at U of M have basically created the best team in NFL history. But TC is a humble man and would never claim such credit for himself. Anyway, Papa Al is pretty angry with me getting in so late, so I better start warming up, but let's face it, I've been prepping this game plan for almost 7 years.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Redskins vs. Vikings: Live Bloggin'

Game Wrap-Up - As I said last week, TC loves two things - blogging and winning. Therefore, this ties the previous two weeks as the best weeks of my life. I had a good time leading scoring drives, throwing touchdowns, not throwing interceptions, calling the defense in the first half, and writing some mandolin classics on the sidelines. Final stats - 22/29, 254 yards, 2TDs. That's good enough for another 100+ QB rating, and if it's should be. Those days of 5-7 records and not making the playoffs in the Jason Campbell era seem long ago. I gotta go get my groom on for all this post-game love I get. I might go with black on black like last week. Ok, I'll catch you all later this week. Happy Holidays from TC!

11:10 -
Being a team player, I'm gonna give Clinton a bunch of credit on that drive. However, TC is a master slant passer which accounted for about 90% of that score.

11:00 -
Not to be out done by Tavarias, TC had to show his mobility on that first down run. But TC can follow it up with a beautiful pass. I wouldn't worry about the fumble, I've got like two verses left..then I'll wrap up this game.....nevermind, back to the field!

10:47 -
I'd like to take this brief minute, while I watch the Vikings march down the field, to remind you that my interception-less streak has been extended to ten years, two games, and three quarters.

10:36 -
It's been awhile since I've touched the pigskin, but I'm kind of glad Minnesota recovered that onside kick. I mean, we're gonna win anyway, and I'm really making some progress on these songs I'm writing on the sidelines. Be sure to pick up my CD in 2008.

10:23 -
25-0. After a lively half time which included reggaeton and Irish jigging, we came out with some pep. I decided to show my versatility by throwing a pancake block on 3rd and goal.

9:48 -
Halftime Entertainment!

9:42 -
I will now only respond to Todd "el saviorrrrr" Collins with lots of rolling R's. Looks like Clinton has picked up on my throwing lessons to Jason. I'm on my way to another 100+ rating. 22-0.

9:25 -
Godly deep ball to Santana...never had to break stride. 16-0.

9:21 -
This is getting absurd. The defense is forcing me to get on the field faster than you can say "fire-roasted fresh artichoke." Anyway, that three and out I just orchestrated should teach them a lesson. Time to do into my fire-roasted...CHRIST, back on the field.

9:12 -
So the TC-sneak comes a week after the Madden preview, but it's just as effective. A few nice screen passes set up a fake FG attempt which I created after 12 years on special teams. The result? Negative. Still 9-0

9:00 -
Ok, I know some of you are thinking that the fumble was quite an un-TC thing to do. But, how many of you have kept a meatball marinara in Mark Brunell's hand-warmer for an entire quarter? I had to get back to the sideline.

8:50 -
TC with a jump shot into Cooley's arms that would make Detlef Schrempf jealous. Now that I'm officially on the way to 3-0 as a starter, it's time to second guess Joe's week 1 decision to go to Jason. Extrapolate this record to the entire season and we're 15-0 after today...look out Patriots.

8:35 -
Something I've been teaching Jason throughout the year is that the most effective passes are in the air for less than 5 yards. I'm an extremely accurate shovel passer, so we've worked that into the playbook this week. Smoot's been eating those power bars again...but runs out of bounds inside the ten (as we had discussed) so that TC can pad those legendary stats on this contract year. Rats, I gotta get back on the field, 2-0.

8:27 -
Al loves opening up the passing game when I play, so I think they were ready for it. Some monster giant of a man bats my first pass down, then a Collins special (screen pass) goes for nada mucho when Sellers can't break a simple tackle. Well, time to go unwrap my meatball marinara before next possession.

- About an hour before gametime and I'm getting out of the hot-tub after a nice rub down and eyebrow plucking from Papa Al Saunders. Next step is to get the hair set since I've been running around in this Minnesota snow all morning trying to get Andrea a nice Christmas gift, as well as something that shows my appreciation to the staff of the Cheesecake Factory. Then I'll get my right arm well oiled and ready to go. We control our own destiny now...of course TC doesn't believe in destiny - only hard work and sacrifice. Wish me luck!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Wrapping up Week 15

Que pasas's your one-time NFC player of the week TC here coming to you live from my brand new yacht which I'm planning to pay for with the Pro-Bowl bonus that will be coming my way soon. It's nice to get out here on the high seas of that beautiful Bahamian water with some good friends, good food, good tunes and good times. I've brought my favorite staff from the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate the end of such a wonderful week. So let TC take you on a voyage aboard my blogging-boat for the next few minutes to tell you exactly what went down this week.

Last week was quite the whirlwind for me. With all the plans I made this summer such as mandolin lessons, public speaking engagements, running a few half marathons, bringing a class action lawsuit on behalf of the Walpole Carpenters Union, Dancing With the Stars, and perfecting the Superbowl Shuffle, this was really the first week I was able to free my schedule enough to prepare to start a game.

So the week started with high acclaim and a well deserved award for only the best players in the NFC. Now that I've become such a celebrity in DC, I was invited to an exclusive DC fraternity with other famous people from here. So Wednesday night I went to K Street Lounge to celebrate with an eclectic group which included Dave Chappelle, Connie Chung, Tim Gunn, Maury Povich and a Jim Morrison impersonator. The night got a little out of control when Connie and Tim insisted on doing body shots on yours truly. Fortunately, I was able to get out of there with my dignity and return home to my Georgetown estate with a few buddies for an after hour party since Andrea's been a little busy this week.

The Mitchell Report was the next biggest event (besides me) to come out of this week. I have to admit I was a little nervous on this one. Rumors have been circulating about my 10-0 season as a starting pitcher for Walpole High School in 1988. One night at a local Boston bar with some Bellirica High cheerleaders, I was downing a few cold ones with my boyhood idol - Roger Clemens. He taught me his 5 C's of pitching...cream, control, change-ups, chicanery, and cream. He gave me a can of this aforementioned cream. Next thing I know, I had bigger biceps, 5 more MPHs to the fastball and an extra inch of optical edge.

Folks, I got a very special call on Friday while sitting on my beach chair and overseeing practice. It turns out that yours truly had created new life. I took the private jet that I co-own with Danny and went to see Andrea. It was very special to see a young Jack Collins just walk out and say his first words - "what's going on pops?" Fast development runs in the family.

The game was pretty special as I continued my winning streak at 2, my undefeated streak at 10 years, and my interception streak which is moving towards eternal. I'd like to thank Amani for helping me out with some drops, and an "unintentional" roll into the Shocker. For more on the game...make sure to read the live blog from Sunday.

Finally, I concluded my week by flying to Ann Arbor to introdue the next face of Michigan football - Rich Rodriguez. We've been working on a deal for when my playing career is over in ten years to be an offensive coordinator at Michigan. RichRod has seen me use my legs to propel my NFL career and couldn't think of anyone he'd rather have teaching the option-spread offense. However, I was quite disgusted when RichRod misrepresented the all-time classic, The Lion King at his national press conference. Coach Fraud said - "there's a scene where the monkey hits the lion over the head and the lion says, 'What did you do that for?' And the monkey says, 'Doesn't matter, it's in the past." Although genius for bringing up the Lion King, everyone know that Rafiki was actually trying to teach Simba that the past does matter, and can hurt. I just wanted to get that off my chest...phew.

Ok, well it's been a great week full of winning football games, incomplete passes, Baby Collins', new coaches, steroid probes, Disney monkeys, and too much Connie Chung. I've rambled on long enough, and I just noticed that Antwaan scripted "man lover" into my chest with the suntan lotion... not that there's anything wrong with that. I'll see y'all with my game preview in a few days!

Todd Collins


Sunday, December 16, 2007

Week 15: Live In Game Updates!

Recap: VICTORY! I've been telling you people all year that Todd Collins does not throw interceptions. Even on a windy and dreary night, TC puts the ball where it has to be - either in his receivers' hands or on the ground. I think it's safe to say that if TC isn't gonna throw an interception on a night like this, that this streak should survive another good ten years. I must now get ready for my post-game interviews, press conferences, college coeds in the meat packing district, and a late night run to Taco bell with Amani. There's two things that TC loves more than anything - winning football games and it's a good night.

11:34 -
Two-minute warning, and two minutes away from officially being back in the playoff hunt, and two minutes from TC being 2-0 since 1997.

11:27 -
Papa Al got a little conservative, but he's a clock management genius so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. It's getting a little cold out there around this time of night, so I don't so much mind putting on my big redskins jacket and taking a seat.

11:20 -
I don't wanna take too much credit...but TC was a little busy calling the defensive plays during that last drive.

11:08 -
TC got a reputation as the king of screen passes after setting the all-time career Michigan completion percentage record at 64.29%. Unfortunately, Ladell comes up a little bit short, and it's time to go locate that second half of the chipwich.

11:01 -
Been a little while, but I got a good power nap in before this drive, so we're gonna score. Smoot has been eating those power bars of his and breaks up a huge pass...might want to test those for performance enhancements of some kind.

10:55 -
These New Yorkers are getting on Amani about dropping these passes...but just remember that Amani and I are bff from Michigan. Amani knows that TC's got billz to pay, a new kid, and a free-agent contract coming his way.

10:51 -
Things are getting interesting now....but they wouldn't have been if Chris could handle balls like yours truly. Just heard that Madden's been talking about my ball-handling all night and it's making me a little uncomfortable.

10:40 -
Fake throw thing I invented did not work this time. TC is a team player, so I'll take the blame for that play...but not the two bad runs. Don't worry though, TC's leading this team to victory like Captain Jean-Luc Picard led the Starship Enterprise.

10:25 -
TC comes out en fuego in the 2nd half. A strike to Cooley, and a few runs while I'm resting my gun, and we're up 22-3. I hope Mark is taking some lessons on the sideline.

- Half-Time. The completion percentage is a little low, but the confidence is at an all-time high since we're winning by a 16- 3 score. As team captain, it's my duty to fire the boys up in the second half, so I shall give a Shakespearean half-time speech. I'll probably re-set my hair, brush the upper molars a few more times, and pick up some milk before Andrea notices I finished off the last carton, then I'll be re-charged and ready to go!

10:08 -
Papa Al has implemented the fake-throw and hand off play I designed in practice this week and it's averaging about 25 yards a carry....about time someone around here started listening to me. Even though I didn't throw too much, I'm gonna have to take credit for managin the clock, inventing that play, and dominating the two-minute drill.

9:47 -
My first TD drive as a starter since 1997! Man, that feels good. I'm clearly on my game right now and our offense is becoming a juggernaut in just my second week. TCriffic!

9:40 -
Ok, I just finished a few Long Island Iced Teas in honor of New York, and I'm ready to go on this drive.

9:35 -
The Final Countdown blares from the stadium speakers, and I was pretty confident that I'd lead us on our third scoring drive of the game. I'm a little worried at this point considering that Amani Toomer can explode at any point and make this a 7-6 game. A phenomenal punt sets them up inside their own 5.

9:23 -
The Todd/Todd (Collins/Yoder) connection will truly go down as the next Montana/Rice. A big pass to Santana sets up a scoring drive and we're up 6-0. I'm feeling good now so watch out for the next couple of drives.

9:13 - The QB rating is taking a little bit of a hit. The good news is that the interception streak is now another quarter longer. However, I've caught wind that Al and John are starting to get a little nasty towards TC.

9:05 -
An impressive scoring drive by yours truly and we're up 3-0. The old right arm is defrosting and I'm throwing world class passes once again. Give Cooley -4 on that one.

8:54 -
Ay dios mio. Santana was mugged! Anyway, Papa Al's got some great moves up his sleeves and a brand new jump suit on, so I think we're in good shape.

8:45 -
I put that one right in Clinton's hands, not much more I can do. It's ok, as I'm confident we'll score soon.

8:42 -
Giants go four and out and I've gotta leave the rest of this chipwich on the sideline...could have really used a first down there.

8:33 -
A little windy out there. Antwaan was clearly held at the line because the ball went to the spot I've been throwing it all week in practice.

8:30 - An exciting punt return by's go time. Don't bother wishing me luck since it's been my god given talent that's gotten me this far.

- About an hour before gametime. I've got quite the strict routine before games I start - I just got out of the hot-tub, got my pre-game massage from two lucky Giants cheerleaders, I'll brush my teeth until about 7:45, listen to jock jams on my ipod until 7:55, down two shirley temples cause it gets the system going, then at about 8:05 I'll comb my hair one last time, toss two warmup passes, and i'm ready to go. I look forward to blogging y'all after my first drive when we'll be up 7-0.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Redskins vs. Giants Preview: Madden Style

Hey all you TC admirers out there, it's the NFC Offensive Player of the Week here to give you a little preview of what might happen this weekend against my former Michigan roommate Amani Toomer and the New York Giants. It's amazing what love I've been getting on this blog and from the media just because the rest of the world has finally realized the power of TC that I've been preaching for the past year and a half on the blog. Looks like you loyal readers will have to move over since there are plenty of hop-a-longs on this TC bandwagon.

I figured that the most realistic predictor of what might happen was using Madden '08 for the PS3 to help me simulate the upcoming game against New York. Furthermore, I feel as though I can check out the defensive schemes the Giants might throw at me. TC, being both a scholar and an athlete, truly prides himself on extensive film study.

1st Quarter:

- The Giants come out of a large helmet, take the ball, and proceed to march 80 yards for a TD on the opening drive. The final blow was delivered on a 19 yard TD pass from Manning to Shockey. Yours truly answers back with a masterpiece that Bob Ross would be proud of. Three straight passing plays start off the drive, and a critical third down 22 yard rifle to Santana Moss puts us in range for a 2 yard Portis TD...7-7. A 10 yard strike to to Moss makes it 14-7 at the end of the first quarter.

2nd Quarter:

- Skins pouring it on. 28 yard TD by Clinton Portis. 24-20 at halftime, as the defenses are still out partying New York style.

3rd Quarter:

- This game is so intense that I had to put my helmet on while I sit here watching. 31-30 good guys headed to the 4th quarter

4th Quarter:

- TC to Cooley...again, 38-30. Ay-yi-yi, the Giants are making our defense look like we're playing the Pats and it's, make that 44-38 after a Clinton fumble. Looks like its TC magic time in the 2 minute drill.


- If there's anything that i've learned from this game, it's that Madden '08 is almost identical to the real thing. The realistic - TC puts up a 102.9 QB rating, 2 TDs, 0 INTs. The unrealistic - TC fails to complete a 2 minute drill resulting in a 44-38 Redskins loss.

To finish my preview, I would like to conclude that while TC had a big game, my teammates failed to pull their weight. Sorry folks, but there is only so much I can do. However, the interception-less streak will be alive and well and going on 11 years. Lastly, although we lost in the Madden '08 preview, I'd like to point out that the magic of my undefeated streak since 1997 will complete the drive and lead us to a 45-44 victory, most likely on a TC-sneak with no time left (as demonstrated above).

Well, I've studied the defense, drank a few pina coladas, burned some incense, listened to the Grateful Dead, eaten the entire 5-5-5 from Dominos and made myself a better QB in the process. Therefore, it's time I take off. Be sure to check out my live in-game updates from the sidelines this Sunday...

Todd Collins


Friday, December 7, 2007

Wrapping up Week 14!

Things are happening so fast around here, but I wanted to get some blogging done before I have to meet with Reebok, Powerade, Nutrisystem and Vermont Teddybear executives about some really grand endorsement deals.

It's been such a great afternoon as I've just woken up from my post-game slumber party with Chris Cooley and Smootalicious. After the game last night, I got a call from Cheesecake Factory president Max Byfuglin who told me that the Collins Suite would be open all night and that he had assembled his finest staff of waitresses, scantily clad bus-girls, a top shelf open bar, a nacho cheese fountain, a chocoalte fondue fountain, three hot-tubs, two ponys and one guitar hero arcade machine. It was quite the party, and we literally kept the place open all night. The Collins Suite comes fully equipped with a waterbed and velvet love seat, so TC, Smoot, Cooley and Coolio all crashed there for the night with some very special guests.

All that being said, this blog is mostly to thank Skinhead nation for your support of my starting QB job. When I won the job out of the the preseason, I really thought this move would be made sooner. However, patience is a virtue, and TC is a man of integrity and patience. I've sat and watched as my mentee Tom Brady has won superbowls and supermodels knowing that my day would soon come. So I'm sitting on the bench yesterday with my helmet on in order to protect my hair from the cold (as you saw in my post-game interview) when Gibbs walks over to me and says, "son, lead us." The rest is history.

I am now undefeated as a starting QB since 1997. The 144.6 QB rating that I'm sporting this season is second only to my legendary 156.9 rating in 2002. And most importantly, the interception streak is still alive at ten years. You saw me throw 54 yard bombs to Clinton, exhibit deft touch to Betts and make Yoder look like Cooley. I don't want to book my ticket for Hawaii just yet, but let's just say that my travel agent should be hearing from me sometime soon.

Ok, well I gotta get back to partying. No practice for TC since I've had Papa Al's playbook memorized for a good seven years.

Take Care and you'll be hearing from me early next week.

Todd Collins


Thursday, December 6, 2007


Final Score: TC's Muchachos - 24
Griese's Gringos - 16

It was great to get a hug in after the game with my main man Brian Griese. But it was even greater leading you to victory tonight.

I'd love to stay and blog, but I must bask in the glory of my victory with post-game interviews....then it's hot-tub time.

Signing Off,

Todd Collins


4-4, 60 yards on that drive, big 3rd down conversions, and a TD. There's clutch, then there's Tom Brady and Todd Collins.

15/20, 224, 2 TDs. Is it any wonder that I am the most accurate QB in University of Michigan history?


Another drive and more points for the TC led Redskins. Suishim even makes some kicks when in my presence.

It was a good drive as I've proved that TC loves Cooley just as Jason does. It's a one score game which doesn't make me too confident given all I taught Griese at Michigan.

11/16, 164, 1TD, interception streak going strong on 10 years.


I can't do anything when my receivers don't hold onto the ball. I'm demanding a trade for Amani Toomer after this victory.


Folks, as I lead this team to victory and TD drive after TD drive, you might be wondering where TC's been all this time. However, it's a good thing I've been resting this cannon for the past ten years so I can throw 54 yard bombs like that one.

5-6, 91 yards, 1 TD.

TC knows comebacks...


Folks, the Collins/Yoder connection is offically back!

Just got back in the locker room and celebrated like only TC and Yoder know how...

I think it's safe to say I've dusted off the old right shoulder. 4 for 5, 37 yards, 1TD. Well it's halftime so I'm gonna down a few Shirley Temples and see you in the second half!


Ok, two drives into my season and the interception streak is still alive at ten years. Good to see the rust is...

DAMN, our ball back


Hey all. Your starting QB TC here, writing to you from the Redskins sideline after my first meaningful play in about a decade. I'm excited to be in and will continue the updates after our possessions. I look forward to dominating the rest of this game. Ok...gotta run!

If you're keeping track....1 for 1 for 5 yards.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Entry #28: Good to be 5-3

How's it hanging jabronis? TC here in the midst of his birthday week to bring you laughter, joy and good tidings from my Cheesecake Factory suite this afternoon. We had so much fun on Monday, that an executive decision was made to make TC-Mas a full week holiday. Therefore, I woke up in my Georgetown estate this morning, got carried to my bathtub/pool, cleaned, dried, dressed, and into my horse and carriage for my parade down Wisconsin Avenue. After waving to the dozens of fans that lined the streets, I was dropped off at my favorite CF. So here I am, being spoon fed my soup du jour, fork fed my Boston House Salad to celebrate my heritage, finger fed my edamame, and straw fed my Typhoon Punch.

First and most importantly, I want to thank you all for the birthday greetings, phone calls, emails, fan mail, and scantily clad photos. It means a lot to know how appreciated I am in the city of Washington as my free agency looms a few months away.

Secondly and even more importantly, I have an announcement to make. Your favorite blogger, quarterback, confidant, best friend, idol and part-time model, TC will be on Triple X Radio here in Washington DC with Bram Weinstein and Dexter Manley at 7:45pm, Friday Night, November 9th. We'll talk a little, laugh a little and cry a little so be sure to check it out as TC makes love to your ears. ESPN Triple X radio is 730 on your AM dial, but for those of you lucky enough to have FM, we're talking 94.3 or 92.7.

Ok, on to this past week's game. I got to New York a little early since the Giants had a bye week which meant I could hook up with my old roommate from Michigan, Amani Toomer. After a few wild nights in the Meat Packing District, I realized I needed some rest before the beginning of my birthday week. There's no reason for me to have been bruised and battered for my bday, especially when we're playing the 1-7 Jets, so Uncle Joe gave me the week off. It's hard to believe that none of our electrifying WRs has scored a TD this season, but I guess my presence is starting to be missed. After I hit Brandon Lloyd in the back of endzone during week 2 of the preseason, I was sure he was due for a magical year. Anyway, clearly something is wrong with our offense, and I'll be sure to analyze the tape as soon as my birthday week is over. On a positive note, fellow Wolverine David Harris had 24 tackles and was hitting everything in sight, so I was forced to wear a helmet on the sideline and protect my lovely wife Andrea.

So there you have it. I look forward to this week's game against the Andy Reid and the Philadelphia Eagles and speaking with you all directly this friday. Until next time, this is TC signing off.

Todd Collins


Monday, November 5, 2007

Entry #27: Merry TC-Mas!

Hey friends, TC here with a very special blog entry. It's hard to believe that it's been 36 glorious years since I dove out like Pete Rose, but here I am. I'm still in New York at my penthouse suite at the W Hotel, but Amani Toomer is coming over soon to kick off the festivities which begin here but conclude in DC after a party on my private jet. There's no need to leave the bed this morning as the Cheesecake Factory has sent 4 of their finest waitresses to personally serve me for the day. It's not even the afternoon yet and I'm on Birthday Cheesecake #3. Only 33 to go!

As you have previously read, TC is an American and world historian and scholar. With November 5th being so special, I thought I'd let you know what other glorious things have happened on this holy day.

First, there are many other famous people that I will certainly be celebrating with tonight. One of my favorite American actors and second favorite fried chicken chain restaurant founder, Roy Rogers was born this day in 1911. Wonderful musician, man, husband and father, Ike Turner was born on the same day as yours truly in 1931. A personal favorite of mine because of his wonderful high harmonies, flawless mini 'fro, and ability to get famous without ever writing a song, Art Garfunkel was born in 1941. Peter Noone of Herman's Hermits was born in 1947. Mr. Noone holds a special place in my heart for it was his songs "Something Tells Me I'm Into Something Good" and "Mrs. Brown You've Got a Lovely Daughter" that I enjoyed many special nights in my back seat with 11th grade bombshell Nicole Brown. God waited until 1952 before unleashing the brilliance that is Bill Walton, who is without a doubt the best Deadhead basketball player to have evvveeer played. Bryan Adams graced us on this day in 1959 and it was at the age of 10 where he got his first real six string in the Summer of '69 and fell in love with some chick on his mama's porch. Funny enough, rock n roller Ryan Adams also shares the same birthday in 1974. Other notables who did not quite do enough for me to make this list are - Jerry Stackhouse, Johnny Damon (who would have made the list had he not ditched my beloved Red Sox), Javy Lopez and Alexei Yashin.

November 5th is quite special because it was the day that my favorite President, James K. Polk was elected in 1844. If it weren't for Polk, you could kiss Texas, Oregon, California, New Mexico, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, Colorado and Wyoming goodbye. What a visionary that man was. It was in 1872, that Susan B. Anthony defied the law and voted in an election for the first time. Ms. Anthony was fined $100, but it was her great act which is credited as the start of seeing women as a real person, rather than the 2/3 of a person they were considered before. FDR was elected for a third term in 1940, going the extra mile and working over-time just like TC.

There you have it ladies and gentleman. November 5th is a very special day. I'll be back in a few days with my weekly American Football update from the past week. But in the meantime, have a very special TC-Mas, and I hope you leave some milk and cookies for Collins Clause as he delivers your goodies tonight.

Todd Collins


PS - Before I forget. Yours truly is gonna be on ESPN Triple X radio with Bram Weinstein this Friday night around 8pm. Make sure to tune in as TC grooves you with his soothing sounds.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Entry #26: Separated at Birth

Todd Collins:............................Tom Brady:

Folks of Skinhead and Wolverine nations alike, it occurred to me while watching my Patriots take on my current employer that there are many similarities between TC and TB. As you have previously read, there is a "conflict of interest" in my playing a game against the Patriots due to being a local legend in Walpole, Foxboro and neighboring communities. Therefore, as per usual, I was in the locker room hot-tub dining on some Cheesecake Factory Baja Chicken Tacos during the 4th quarter listening to the announcers marvel over TB's hair.

As a junior at the University of Michigan, myself and Lloyd Carr boarded a jet plane for a recruiting trip to look at a young, immature and chisled bone structured Californian QB named Tom Brady. After watching Brady's Junipero Serra High School go down in flames during a West Catholic Athletic League contest against the Archbishop Mitty Monarchs, Lloyd was ready to call it a day. We walked into the Junipero Serra locker room to see a dejected TB head-in-hands. I convinced Lloyd to let me have some time alone with the young lad and see what kind of moxie and presence he had. I made my way to the young TB and noticed that his grooming and hair were still intact as if he were ready to go straight to the club after putting on a black button-down. Perfect grooming was a vintage TC move during my Michigan days and I am often credited with making helmet hair a thing of the past... I could see the potential in TB. So we both got into a towel and slipped into the hot-tub where we talked about life, local cheerleaders, grooming techniques and the latest men's fashion as zuba's and starter jackets were making their way out. It was this brief hot-tub, air drying, and eyebrow plucking experience that convinced me to offer him a scholarship on the spot to become the next great Michigan QB.

After watching the Pats this week, I went back to evaluate the ways in which TB has truly become a younger TC. I'd like to share with you some of our numerous similarities. First of all, many football americano historians have considered TB's 2007 season to be the best single season since my 2002 season with the Kansas City Chiefs. In that year, I completed 83% of my passes while having 0 INTs and a QB rating of 156.9, which slightly trumps TB's 74.2 competion percentatge, 2 INTs and 136.2 QB rating. You might have noticed that TB considers me a big brother after taking him under my tutolage at Michigan. In order to honor my legacy in Ann Arbor, TB chose to wear my previously retired #10 for the maize and blue...however, if you look closer at the side by side pictures, TB also uses my same ball grip, uses my hand-me-down towel, similarly cut pants, same sock length and shaves his legs before every game. If I didn't know Mr. Collins better I'd have to check his flight records to make sure he wasn't on a "business trip"t0 California nine months prior to August 3, 1977.

Speaking of Mr. and Mrs. Collins...I was able to bring Victoria home this week to get a review from the 'rents. Unfortunately, after an awkward dinner, I was forced to send her on the first bus out of Walpole when she insulted Mrs. Collins mashed potatoes. However, TC must move on and fall back on the support of my lovely wife Andrea.

Well, that's enough about TB + TC = Awesomeness. Let's move on to this past week's game...The Redskins lost by a lot of points. However, I was able to take plenty of notes for Papa Al and Uncle Joe concerning how to play the game of football, and I am confident that the right game plan will beat the Patriots when we meet them in the Super Bowl. However, since whatever TC doodles on his clipboard is top secret information, I can not share this information with my fellow bloggers at this present time. Many Skinheads feel that the Patriots ran up the score on the Redskins, but TC taught TB to take no prisoners when at the University of Michigan. In fact, every Friday night when at the UofM, TB would call yours truly and I would tell him to go "balls deep" all game...there's only one speed that us Wolverines know. So, therefore I would like to apologize for the score being 52-7 this week. Had I not been involved and the Patriots not run up the score, I'm sure it would have been a more respectable 45-7.

I loved my time back home in Walpole and Foxboro and it was good to get the royal treatment from the local mortals. I'm gonna miss Mrs. Collins' homemade feasts and Mr. Collins' bed-time stories, but I'll be happy to get back to my Georgetown estate, .10 cent wings and $1 beers. I'll talk to you all after we take on the terrific trio of David Harris, Victor Hobson, BJ Askew and the 3rd place Jets.

Todd Collins


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Entry #25: We are who they thought we were!

Hey all you out there in TC’s blogosphere. It’s your blonde bombshell TC here with my weekly Redskins and all things interesting update. It’s an exciting week for yours truly as I get to come back to my home state of Massachusetts and the fine foliage of a New England autumn. Therefore, I took a flight early Monday morning to my hometown of Walpole, MA where I still hold legendary status. To exemplify my greatness to you new readers – as a senior at Walpole High School, I was named New England Football Player of the Year by the Boston Globe. You can probably guess that I might have been a great QB in high school, but it was my junior year in which I averaged 18 points and 10 rebounds a game on the hardwood and went 10-0 as a pitcher that caught the attention of many local cheerleaders and national scouts alike. I was able to cement my legacy when I coached this year’s Walpole Little League All-Stars all the way to Williamsport, PA for the Little League World Series. However, I was rather disappointed when those kids let me down on national TV. (See Blog Entry #19). Even though I am mildly upset that I will not be blogging at the Cheesecake Factory for a second straight week, I’m very excited to be sitting at the Red Wing Diner off of Route 1 eating some famous homemade grapenut pudding that I once snorted after losing a bet as a young Walpole lad.

Walpole is located a few miles from where my beloved New England Patriots play. As you can imagine, this year has been one to remember for all us Patriots fans due to the weekly spankings the Patriots have been handing out. I’ve been very good friends with Tom Brady ever since I helped lure him to Ann Arbor. Tommy has been calling me all week about going to different clubs and hot tub parties, and describing all these models and cute co-eds he’s lined up for us. However, this trip serves me another purpose. You might have remembered that I met someone from craigslist - Click Here. Tomorrow, I’m taking Victoria to meet Mr. and Mrs. Collins and get the thumbs up from the ‘rents.

Let’s recap this week. Your favorite team and my second favorite team beat Steve Breaston, Gabe Watson and the Cardinals in an ESPN Instant Classic by the score of 21-19. You might have noticed my absence from the field on Sunday, but my presence was surely felt in other ways. I tried to let Jason do this one on his own as I was in the locker room with Victoria trying to learn my new love’s ways. Jason remembered some of our lessons, such as completing at least 64% of your passes (yours truly holds the record for the best career completion percentage in Michigan history - 64.28%). However, the no touchdowns and one interception were enough to demonstrate that the training wasn’t over. So, we’re up 21-13 when Tim Rattay turned in a very TC-like efficient game, going 1-1 with a touchdown and a QB rating of 118.8. Unfortunately, that meant that we were only up two points. One thing most people don’t know is that NFL radios work just like the CB radios that truckers use, but on different channels with each team using its own custom password. I recently learned this when Trent Green gave me the Dolphins password (Shula1972) during Week 1 so that we could reminisce about our playing days in Kansas City. My assignment for this game from Joe was to hack the Cardinals password – but it had escaped me to this point, plus I was busy with Victoria and ordering Chipotle in the 3rd quarter. Knowing our team was in dire need of a victory, I picked up the radio, tuned in to channel 19, and in a moment of divine intervention, I typed in “CrownEm” Next thing I know I hear Tim say, “coach, what’s the play?” Not knowing what I was calling, I said “Air Bud 81 Right.” Tim replies, “coach, we haven’t practiced this since I was signed two weeks ago,” to which I muttered quite sexily, “son, you will run this play.” So, anyway, the rest is history: Boldin takes the snap and creates a folly of confusion ending up in an interception to seal the game. Knowing my work was done and nothing exciting would follow (on the field that is), I took off for my Georgetown estate.

So there you have it – we're now 4-2 and in third place in the NFC East because Amani Toomer is an absolute stud on and off the field. In other news, you might have heard Joe say the play-calling was up to par after our explosion of 160 total yards. After hearing the press conference, I called Joe for my weekly Monday morning strategy talk. "Joseph, we got to open it up a little bit more. We can't sit on the lead when we have stats to pad. How is Jason ever going to improve his Madden ranking in the weekly roster updates when he's only throwing 7 times in the second half? I need some deep bombs to Santana like in my preseason start so that I can dominate my online play." Taken back by my prolific words and my hitting the nail on the head of the problem, Joe was forced to concede. Joe's not a flip-flopper but he is also not as far right-wing as the playcalling in the second half. So even though I am a team player, I will take credit for being Joe's "hindsight."

Finally, Brian Griese and Tom Brady continued the strangle hold on the NFL QB position that Michigan quarterbacks have held. I’d like to think that I helped Brian with his 97 yard game winning drive that was clearled modeled after TC's preseason performance and our late night study sessions in Ann Arbor.

So there you have it Skinheads. I’m off to La Casa de Collins for a King’s feast with Victoria. I’ll catch you next week after the battle royal between my two favorite teams.

Todd Collins


Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Entry #24 – Love Blossoms in Defeat

Hola senoritas and those of you senoras into the swinging lifestyle, it’s your man TC here on a mission to brighten up your long work day with a high quality dose of blogging on the second of six consecutive off days. Unfortunately, I have not made it to the Cheesecake Factory yet, since I am still in bed with a certain lady friend…

The trip to Wisconsin for the game against the Packers is always one of my favorites. Green Bay is a quaint little village filled with glorious history on and off the field. Most people know legendary Packers from Vince Lombardi to Brett Favre to.....the list goes on. However, many do not know that Green Bay was settled by Favre and the French-Canadians in 1634, making it the 13th oldest permanent settlement in the US, and that the surrounding Fox River was used as a military fort – TC is a scholar, an athlete, and a historian, so the rich tradition makes Green Bay a second home. Anyway, I must tell you that this year’s game was the favorite of my long and illustrious career. You might be saying, “Hey, TC, didn’t you notice that we lost and are now in third place?” Of course I noticed, however, the story surrounding the circumstances of our loss make this an easy pill to swallow.

The astute football fans that you are might have noticed that the Packers defeated TC’s Finest by a score of 17-14. It was a sloppy game due to the climate of Green Bay, which gets 2.17 inches of precipitation every October with an average high of 57.9 degrees. Now, a professional QB must battle such circumstances and Jason-Son did a good job of this by putting his balls right where they needed to be. However, our receivers did not come through like they did in the preseason under my guidance. The most unfortunate receiver was Santana Moss, who I was forced to bench in the 4th quarter.

However, even in a loss, TC is a man of destiny. I was doing the usual during the game – mentoring JC, calling the offense, drinking Shirley Temples, ordering Panera, playing with Papa Al’s puppy and calling my bookie. Right about the time I would normally take off for my pre-4th quarter nap, I noticed a cute little brunette in the 4th row right above the Redskins sideline. Since I can usually bag the finest kitten in the litter, my taste is quite picky. However, this girl was an 8 by TC standards – meaning she was around the same level as Alessandra Ambrosio and about two levels above Gisele. This femme fatale kept staring at me, playing with her hair and trying to send me paper airplane notes which were caught in the cool Green Bay breeze. Usually, TC would know what to do in such circumstances, but I got so caught up in the excitement of Wolverine great Charles Woodson’s game winning TD, that I had post game partying on my mind. Unfortunately, I figured it wasn’t meant to be, and my gimlets were a little more sour on this night.

I got a call from Amani Toomer after his fine performance last night. I had told him my story of lost love, and he needed to tell me that he had come across a Craigslist posting that might be of some help. As soon as I opened the following post - Click Here - I was floored! She had remembered me from the game! Furthermore, she described my exact outfit. I responded and she said her name was Victoria, and that she had been anxiously awaiting me since Sunday. So, TC had a bit of a date last night – we got some half priced burgers and $3 pints at “Sign of the Whale” in Dupont, followed by all night salsa dancing at Citron. I then took her back to my Georgetown estate where we stayed up all night and talked like high school sweethearts. When I awoke, Victoria was smiling at me, wearing my authentic Buffalo Bills jersey from my rookie year, plus Andrea had made us chocolate chip pancakes and turkey bacon with a mimosa. I don’t know what is to become of all this, but you’ll be the first to hear.

I must also give a quick mention of the great Michigan Wolverine football that ensued this weekend. First of all, the Wolverines are back in the top 25 after beating the Purdue Boilermakers by a crap load. TC might be the straightest man alive, but I’ve still got a mancrush on Mike Hart – and that’s before I knew of such noble and global causes he is involved in. Moreover, the Wolverines in the NFL represented with much pride – Tom Brady, Charles Woodson, Braylon Edwards, Amani Toomer, Brian Griese and Tshimunga Biakabatuka all had large weeks. I remember when I was at Michigan and helping with recruiting, Lloyd Carr, Gary Moeller and I took a trip to California to check up on a raw young QB named Tom Brady. As we boarded the plane back to Ann Arbor, Coach had written him off as a mid-major QB destined for a 9-5 office job. However, Tom reminded me of a younger TC that might grow up to greatness and a life of limited turnovers, winning championships and dating multiple supermodels. I convinced our staff to throw a scholarship his way as long as I personally tutored him upon his arrival. I knew that one day TB and TC would make a great pair.

Ok, well I fell in love, Michigan Wolverines did well, and the Redskins lost, but as I told Meatloaf, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad. Anyway, don’t fear Skinhead nations, we’ll bounce back next week.

Todd Collins


Friday, October 12, 2007

Entry #23: Small, Medium, Large, XL, TC

Hey devout fans, T-Cizzle here with a recap of what’s been going on since our last blogging experience. Sorry that it’s been a few weeks, but I was boarding my private jet waiting outside of Fed-Ex around halftime of our apparent loss to the Giants to take advantage of the bye week. I’m a little tired and jet lagged from my vacation, so I’ve decided to bypass going to the Cheesecake Factory, and have instead brought the CF to me. Andrea called for some carryout and ordered me the always delightful Ahi Carpaccio and Jamaican Black Pepper Shrimp. To make the experience all the better, Andrea is wearing her new authentic CF skirt from the 2007 catalog…and she’s never looked better.

I must say that the week leading up to the Giants game is always one of my favorite weeks of the year. Before my NFL success, I was an academic All-American at the Mike Hart University, throwing bombs and landing bombshells with my favorite receiver, Amani Toomer. Like myself, Amani has put together a long and fantastic career in the NFL. Although we have always dreamed of playing together again with Mercury Hayes to my left and Amani to my right, it just hasn’t been in the cards. Amani arrived Tuesday night, and we held a private hot tub party at the Collins household after picking up a few locals at McFaddens which is becoming a little too easy. On Wednesday we went to Lima on K St, cause Amani likes to keep it classy on Wednesdays…although I must say that with all the European flavor in there, a blonde hair, blue eyed New Englander can feel quite out of place. However, after a few Gimlets, I was able to loosen up a bit, and became a hot commodity, much like a brunette in Sweden. The rest of the week was full of classy debauchery all the way up to game time. Anyway, Papa Al and Joe know that TC does not play the week that Amani is in town, and with the half-time flight already scheduled, it made much more sense to start Jason.

There’s no need to even repeat this, but TC is a team player. Even so, there is no denying my impact on the 2007 Washington Redskins. I’ve tutored Jason from a raw, immature, annoying, diaper dependent, young QB into the fine young man and decent QB he is today. Furthermore, my preseason two-minute drill victories and 100+ QB rating set the tone for our 2-0 start this season. Therefore, I am willing to shoulder some of the blame for the loss to the Giants. In an attempt to take the training wheels off of Jason’s proverbial bike, I asked him “can you handle this second half on your own?” Jason nodded, and I was on my way to Honolulu, Hawaii for my first of two annual trips. With the game in hand to the tune of a 17-3 lead, I boarded a jet plane and waved goodbye to all my fans and fellow Redskins. As far as I was concerned, we were 3-0, and I was the QB of a first place team. Apparently, Jason’s wheels fell off, but I knew he’d be a better QB for it.

Amidst the snorkeling, sky diving, wind surfing, scuba diving, hang gliding, mountain climbing and strip twister, I received a call from a panicked Jason. “TC, I don’t know what to do without you on the sideline man. As soon as you’re not around I start throwing incompletions and turning the ball over, even though you preach against it...I just can’t help it” I knew that Jason saw me as a father figure and much like an adolescent, he was rebelling. When TC was a young lad, his father often told him not to take opposing team’s cheerleaders under the bleachers before games. I loved my father, but he often missed my games due to business trips. Before the state semi-finals one year, I gazed into the crowd searching for the missing eyes of my father and instead found a cheerleader from the Foxboro Foxes. Needless to say, I understood Jason rebelling against my leaving town so much by not protecting the ball and behaving sinfully. I told Jason that he was forgiven, and that he should fly to Hawaii for the second week of my vacation and I would indulge him in a most intensive quarterback training session. Jason couldn’t believe his ears, wept a little and quickly boarded my little used second private jet.

As soon as he arrived I put him on a strict diet, tight schedule, made him wax my car and paint my resort house. I shared with him the secrets of the quarterbacking world that I learned from Elvis Grbac and Trent Green but had yet to pass along to any man. I opened a whole new world of 3 step, 5 step and 7 step drops, check downs, running the option, game day grooming, pointing towards god, pre-game cuisine, post-game parties, and the list goes on. I took Jason back to the plane on Saturday morning and gave him the ultimate honor, a shiny gold TC trophy for passing all his tests. I told him I’d see him Sunday and that I would arrive some time during the game in order to avoid a QB controversy…this game was all Jason’s.

The rest is Redskins history. Jason went 23 of 29 for 248, 2 TDs, 0 INTs and 0 fumbles. I also think I managed to inspire the defense in some way because we held the high octane Lions offense to just 3 points. What a great story and I’m proud of Jason-son.

In other football news, I wanted to acknowledge Brian Griese becoming the starting QB of the Bears. Griese was a very young lad when I was at the University of Michigan, but with late night sessions, I was able to mold him into a national championship QB. I must say though that Brian’s arrival might challenge our stranglehold as NFC favorites.

There you have it Skinheads. It’s been a relaxing and very proud two weeks. Anyway, my food’s getting cold and Andrea is ready to model the rest of the catalog. Take Care!

Todd Collins


Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Entry #22: Two and Oh So Good!

Man, so many things to talk about this week that I shant delay. I'm sitting here back in the now legendary Collins Suite of DC's finest Cheesecake Factory. Since I'm feeling quite celebatory this week I've decided to bring Andrea and the kids for good times and good eats. My Factori Peach Bellini is at a delightful temperature, my Grilled Skirt Steak is cooked to perfection and the kids are digging into their mountain of Nacho as usual at the CF. So without further to do, on with the blog!

I'd like to once again apologize for having not played this Monday. However, I am hopeful that Skinhead Nation can forgive me based on the following story...

Saturday night I was up in Ann Arbor trying to reconnect ties with the UofM community. Lloyd Carr had given me a call and said that he's tried everything to fool our opponents, such as having pre-snap motions always go in the direction of the run in hopes that the other team would guess a misdirection play. However, it hadn't been paying off and Lloyd wanted me to personally give the team a pep talk along with long time buddy Russell Crowe. Anyway, Jimmy "The Emu" Clausen couldn't solve Michigan's stingy defense and we were victorious by a 38-0 score. After the game, Mike Hart, Mario Manningham and myself decided to hit up local football favorite bar, Touchdowns. Now, I'm talking to some lovely young Michigan coeds, when my phone rings... So I pick up the phone quite sexily when I see it's the President of ESPN, George Bodenheimer. Mr. Bodenheimer had called me before when ESPN was considering picking up a TC reality show to run against Hogan Knows Best, but I hadn't heard from him since. Mr. Bodenheimer explained to me that Monday Night Countown ratings were at an all-time low and that a dynamic change was needed. Apparently, Mr. Bodenheimer was so impressed by my class, speaking, physique and all around charm that he wanted yours truly to become the brand new host of Monday Night Countdown.

Now, all of my blog readers know that I've been trying to get into the acting business. I garnered some notoriety after a brief stint on a groundbreaking episode of "The Facts of Life" during which I played Tootie's love interest when we became the first sitcom ever to tackle interracial relationships. I bounced around Hollywood, most notibly landing the role Robbie Sinclair, the teenage son on ABC's "Dinosaurs", but then settled on my pro football career. The long hiatus ended when I was picked to play Raoul in a production of the Phantom of the Opera this summer as I only have ten years or so left in my professional football career. Anyways, after Mr. Bodenheimer's call, I phoned Joe and Papa Al and alerted them that I would not be attending the game against the Eagles on Monday due to the opportunity of a lifetime to host an ESPN show. They were not happy about this but they wished me luck and told me my services would be missed.

Mr. Bodenheimer had a private jet waiting for me inside Michigan Stadium and I quickly fly to Bristol to get ready for Monday's airing. After my introductory meeting with producers, Boomer, Coach Parcells and the rest of the "talent," we were ready to start shooting. I soon learned that being so blonde and good looking is a hex in the land of TV. The envy seeping from the pores of my co-hosts was evident from the first time I said "third and almost as long as TC." We all have learned from Magic Johnson and some of my co-hosts that the transition from athlete to TV personality is a challenge that not many have succeeded in. Not being very familiar with failure, yours truly lit up the stage in a masterful debut along the lines of "Good Times Bad Times" off of Led Zeppelin I, or Brad Pitt's role as an uncredited waiter in the 1987 classic "No Man's Land." Unfortunately, ESPN wasn't ready for what they are calling the "TC mania" and neither were my co-hosts. Furthermore, there was some serious tension when all my co-hosts picked the Eagles to defeat the Redskins (as exhibited at the top). Now, TC is a loyal man and will stand by his teammates through thick and thin, other than when they play the Patriots, but only because I grew up a Pats fan and have a thing for Tom Brady. I stood up, cajones on the line, and told my co-hosts - the Washington mother flippin' Redskins will be 2-0 by the end of the night - the rest is almost TV history. After filming, a very amicable decision was made to cut all my scenes which would keep the rest of the "talent" happy, but to pick up my reality show when I retire in 2017.

There you have it. And I beg of your forgiveness again for missing a second straight week. However, it was a career decision that has landed what will be a hit reality show in ten years, so I feel it is well worth it.

Wow, only one nacho left and it has my name on it...take care of each other Skins heads.

Todd Collins


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