Entry #6: The Season Begins

Is this why I came to Washington? I mean, I know I’m a political science major and enjoy a good sightseeing tour on Friday’s, but come on Gibbs, did you watch those two poor excuses for a QB during the preseason? I gave you my projected stats over a full season, and you threw it in my face. It’s a good thing Cindy put extra grenadine in my ST today, and this Honey-Maple Pork Tenderloin is soothing my soul, or else this could be a fierce post.

Breathe….Breathe….Breathe…

Did Marcy Brunell ever post a rating of 156.9??? Heck, did he ever even reach 92??? I don’t think so. Did you know that Marcy has thrown 72 INTs since my last one?!?!?! I stand tough in the pocket throwing TDs to Buck Ortega and Jimmy Farris and Marcy can’t hit Santana, Antwaan or Peppermint Patty.

Breathe…Breathe….Breathe…

Ok, sorry Skinheads, but it still stings, thankfully Papa Al has been helping me get through this.

Time for the football update. Week 1 – we lost to a team that didn’t make the playoffs last year and Marcy threw for no scores….big 51 yard drive for a field goal, way to go. Week 2 – another team that didn’t make the playoffs wallops us as if we were Braintree High School trying to come into Walpole and compete with the Rebels. This time Marcy throws for an INT and again, no scores. Great we’re 0-2 and Rock Cartwright can provide our only “offense.” You know what though? I’m still confident. In 1996, I beat out Alex Van Pelt and Billy Joe Tolliver for the starting job with the Buffalo Bills, overmatched six names to two, I became the starter for the season and the next year started my interception streak.

Well, after the Minnesota debacle on Monday Night Football, Chris and I decided to accept the invitation from “Dirty Viking” and headed out to the Georgetown Waterfront where we got onto a highly lucrative yacht which shall go unnamed. Chris brought some other cheerleader friends who he had become friendly with from past hot tub bonding and I gathered up my three girls, Rachel, Alexandra and Katie and we boarded. “Captain Smut” who was fairly familiar with the DC area and the waters of the Potomac, greeted us and showed us to the hot tub and open bar. I wore an extra spiffy suit to this after party, tailor made for me when I became friends with a young LBC click featuring Snoop Dogg and Dre’ during the 1992 Rose Bowl in Pasadena when I helped write “Nothin’ but a G Thang” about then Michigan starting QB, Elvis Grbac. Little did I know that the no bathing suits in the hot tub policy would quickly send me down below my skivvies. Chris felt a little uncomfortable with this, given present company such as “Smut,” but TC has nothing to fear in that department. So, I don’t remember much after that, but clearly the Week 1 after party was better than the game.

Week 2’s party was a little less eventful as we were in Dallas and not the friendly confines of Washington DC. I’m still good friends with Terry Glenn from our playing days at Michigan and OSU so he introduced me to some famous Cowboy cheerleaders. Terry knows how to party and we caught up on old times from our hotel room beds after hitting up a local Max & Erma’s (Terry’s choice). I almost forgot, I ran into a bunch of people who called themselves Skinheads while in a late night eatery down here. Apparently they shave their heads in support of our team and I was sorry to let them down by losing, but they seemed to like my blonde hair and blue eyes.

Ok, sorry about my anger today, but I should get going. Great pork tenderloin and a lovely wife waiting at home. Ok, enjoy your nights.

Todd Collins
# 15