Entry #7: An even .500

So, although the bitter taste is still in my mouth it’s at least covered by this Crispy Beef Sandwich as we’re now 2-2. Back in the playoff hunt at least, but I’m still not seeing the kind of time I deserve.

Well in week 3 we beat up on the worst team in the NFL from last year, congrats on your record Marcy, no way TC could have thrown screen pass all day and beat the Texans. So a nice 31-15 win. The bigger news was that I was able to spend the week in Texas with Terry and the cheerleaders. About midweek we switched from Dallas girls to Houston girls and on Saturday night we traded them for University of Texas girls when we went down to watch the Longhorns take on Iowa State. Well, it was a good week and I can’t complain because I am a team player and we won, so I’ll take about 1.8% of the credit since there are something like 53 players on a team and I am one of them, however, I don’t have a calculator and that is my scholarly guess. A great week in Texas, a good victory, and I was ready to head back home to Andrea and The Cheesecake Factory.

Man was week 4 exciting. Knowing we had a W under our belt, the Skinhead nation came out ready to go and saluted us home. I think we were pumped for this one and Mark showed up to play QB instead of his alter-ego. However, for those of you who were there and those of you who watched, you noticed something. Mark got a little banged up in the third quarter and I noticed the FOX cameras showing me warm up on the sidelines. Although I didn’t want to cover up my well groomed hair, I wanted to show the world I was ready to go so I strapped on my helmet and gave a good exhibition on the sidelines, I’m pretty sure you’ll see it on the 2am Sportscenter. I was excited to make my regular season debut, and I had already replaced Marcy four times in the preseason. The blood was rushing just like in the 1992 Michigan/Wisconsin game when Elvis Grbac’s turf toe allowed me to warm up in front of an entire section of Chi-O’s. That night turned out well. So, Mark comes back, we win in overtime, I rush the field, and we’re 2-2. It’s a great feeling, and I’m going to take 5% of the victory due to my warming up and the extra motivation it probably gave Mark to go back out there. Good victory gents.

So, yes we’re 2-2 and in great shape. The positive energy seems to be circulating this entire city. I can’t go anywhere without someone noticing me for my football playing rather than my sparkly white teeth, designer suits and perfect hair. It’s become quite embarrassing for Andrea and I since we can’t go out of our mansion without getting mobbed. It’s a good feeling, but makes my time here at The Cheesecake Factory pretty tiresome. In fact, I’m sitting here with a Groucho Marx type mustache and glasses and top hat just so I can enjoy my latte and Oreo cheesecake. It’s quite a challenge to eat but I can think of no other place I rather be blogging you.

Todd Collins
# 15