Thursday, December 21, 2006

Entry #13: Apologetic

Good day sunshines. Skinheads, let me take a minute to apologize for the three week absence from my diary. Tis’ the season and TC has been quite busy with holiday shopping among thousands of other adventures. So, I can’t share my entire few weeks worth of frolicking all into one blog, but let me give you a tasty treat, just like these Buffalo Blasts. Boy, I sure did miss the Cheesecake Factory! However, I give my word that from now on this is a weekly blog, if not bi-weekly, just like a certain Philly QB. Also, be sure to look for my first annual “Game Preview” column tomorrow.

You might have noticed that Jason has been playing my position for the past few weeks. You might have also noticed that I haven’t had a snap. You might have also noticed that we are well into last place. Coincidence? TC is a team player, that’s fo’ sho’, but why did Papa Al bring me here if not to pull a Doug Williams? So, basically, I’ve given up on the season which is why I no longer attend games nor really watch them on TV. But I’ve been reading some box scores and making up highlights in my head…and I’m intrigued by a few things.

First of all, some player personnel I’ve noticed. What happened to Little Nicky Novak? All that man did was win us a game against the first place Cowboys. I guess he must have athletes foot or something because I haven’t read about him lately. In case you missed it we signed some kid named Suisham who sounds delicious. Anyway, he seems to be kicking pretty straight, but good luck in recovery Nick. Secondly, I’ve also noticed that Jason is neglecting Yoder, much to my chagrin. Moreover, Ladell Betts is quite the equivalent to Portis so I’d like to offer up a trade to the Giants – Clinton and myself for Ose Yumenyiora and Mathias Kiwanuka. It’s a fair trade. The Giants get TC to Amani Toomer throwing it around like it was 1993 in Ann Arbor plus a RB to replace Tiki, while Washington gets two guys whose names I can’t pronounce so I don’t want them as teammates.

From what I can gather, we lost two in a row to Atlanta and Philadelphia. Jeff Garcia is now playing QB for Philadelphia, which is quite fitting. Anyways, Jason decides that it’s acceptable to throw to the other team 4 times, well against my tutelage. However, it’s fine and we’re 4-9 – great draft position, perhaps a little Leon Hall or Alan Branch for some Wolverine love. What occurred next really tickled my torso. I don’t know about you, but I’ve fallen in love with the New Orleans Saints – America’s team. What a story that has become. So who decides to piss all over America’s wedding day??? Jason Campbell. Not only did he ruin our own draft position, but he might have also destroyed what would have been a great Disney movie starring silly Hobbit and McConoughey.

So what’s TC been up to? Well, my time away from football has been refreshing. A few things I’ve been doing. #1 – partying it up with Britney and Paris. Knowing that I wasn’t playing and Britney was now single, I figured I didn’t have anything to lose. #2 – PlayStation 3. #3 – Flying around the country to scout my fantasy football players for the playoffs in my keeper league. That’s been about it, but I can guarantee that the hot tub has been staying spicy.

That’s about it. Again, I apologize and I’m thinking about making it out to our next game if it’s in Washington. I haven’t checked the schedule yet but you’ll be sure to hear soon.

Todd Collins

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This phrase is simply matchless ;)

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