Entry #10: Off to Columbus!

I just want to take a second to thank you all for your fan mail and support wishing me good luck in Columbus this weekend. I’ve been scouting the Ohio State defense and believe there are some weaknesses that I can expose. I’ll be on the sidelines calling the plays and relaying my expertise to Chad Henne and the Michigan offense. No word if Coach Carr wants me calling the plays on defense too, but I’m sure you’ll find out soon.

I’m going to get a head start and go to Ann Arbor first so that I can visit the old dormitory and mingle with the tri-delta's I used to party with. I’ll be sure to make late night stops at a few local Jimmy John’s, Cottage Inn, the Pizza House and Big Ten Burrito after partying for hours at Rick’s and the Jug. From there it’s off to Columbus via my private jet that Michigan gave me in 1994. I’m taking Michigan alums and nearly alums Jalen Rose, Derek Jeter and James Earl Jones. No call back from Madonna yet. There’s going to be a lot of Michigan love in the house.

With so many great heroes, why do they look up to Todd Collins so much at the University of Michigan? Here’s the answer:

College records

• I finished my collegiate career at Michigan with the best career (64.3%) and single-season (65.3% in ’93) completion percentages in school history. Jim Harbaugh who???
  

• TC is third in career completions, attempts and yardage, while owning the school’s second and third-best seasonal yardage marks (2,518 in ’94 and 2,509 in ’93).
  

• TC is third on school charts in career rating with a 145.0 mark. However, the 145 pound fish I caught out in Pasadena has yet to be matched.
  

• Produced 14 games in which I registered 200+ passing yards - yet to be matched. Suck on that Tom Brady.
  

• My 2.81 INT percentage remains the second-lowest in team history. Todd Collins values ball possession.
  

• I own a Wolverine mark for average yards per play (7.04) and am second on the school’s charts for yards passing per game at 158.32. Man I'm good.

If you’re looking for a prediction, I’ll say Michigan 27, OSU 24 if I don’t call the plays on defense. If I do call the plays, 34-13 Michigan. You’ll know by the outcome.

So wish me well Skinheads and look for me on the sideline. Sorry again for declining the invitation to be your starting QB. But TC is a team player and I wish Jason the best of luck as he fills in for me this weekend. So good luck and I’m going to finish off this order of Potato Skins that I’m eating in your honor.

I’ll be sure to bring my fanny pack, digital camera and have some great stories to tell.

Good Luck!

Todd Collins

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